From chaos comes....

Posted on Sat Jul 17th, 2010 @ 5:49pm by Lieutenant JG Erin Tal & Lieutenant Kaj Mikkola

4,377 words; about a 22 minute read

Mission: Peace, or Something Like It
Location: Kaj's Quarters

Erin stared at her reflection in the cup of coffee that she just took from the replicator, considering.
She had'nt talked to Kaj since the holdodeck sim, and was trying to convince herself that it would'nt be as arkward as she knew it was. She had been jittery all day, but she highly suspected that had something to do with the amount of caffeine she was imbibing on a daily basis.
Nevertheless, she was nervous as she found her way to Kaj's quarters and knocked.
It was curiosity that had brought her here, a small oddity she noticed in the holodeck and ever since then her inquisative nature had been driving her crazy about it.
That, of course, and the fact that she wanted to see him.
''Oi, Natch. You in?''

Kaj was, albeit five seconds from tearing some of his hair out due to a missing item. Due to various things both involuntary and voluntary keeping him busy, he had allowed somebody else to move his things into his new quarters on the Calypso, something he was leery about doing thanks to a plethora of rare and personal items in his possession, something that now conspired to drive him up a wall. Not only did he need a break from the madness but he did want to see Erin ASAP after his return and her arrival at his door was fortiutous to say the least.

Continuing to stare into the piles of stuff he turned his head over his shoulder to project his voice at least somewhere in the vicinity of the door.

"Come on in, just watch your step!"

Erin walked in, only to grab the doorframe to stop herself falling over the masses of ..stuff.. on the floor.
''Whoa! What happened in here!?!'' She exclaimed, the nervousness momentarily forgotten in confused amusment.
''Did you go crazy with a machete?''

Kaj chuckled for a moment before starting to clear stuff off of the nearest couch in an attempt to be a good host.
"Close, it was an Ion Mallet actually."

He gingerly set a plaque to the side before enough space for two people was cleared.
"No, I had some of the quartermasters' staff move my stuff from the Orion to the Calypso, and somehow in the confusion my snowboard went missing. On top of that some yahoo over on the station has decided to keep my dog in quarantine until they check every single move that she's made. Considering she came from Mars, it's going to take awhile.
There, knew there was a couch under there somewhere."

Kaj gestured to the couch, smiling subtly when his eyes finally went to Erin.
"Have a seat, take a load off. How are you, what did I miss while I was busy falling off of a hoverbike?"

Erin picked her way over and sat down. ''I didn't think it was normal for one person to have this amount of stuff.'' She looked around with a raised eyebrow.
''Well I'm assuming you're in one piece after the hoverbike incident, its good to have you back.''
She continued quickly, unused to saying anything personal.
''Not much news here, I got a call from my clann. One of the other refugee sects were trying to rekindle a fight of some kind, and a few of my clann were killed. That's about the extent of it.''
''So hoverbike fall aside, any other news?''

Kaj sat down next to Erin, nearly tripping over his own clutter despite the fact that he had made the mess in the first place.
"I'm sorry to hear that, and who knows how things have progressed since they transmitted that message. Well you know I'm always willing to just shut up and listen, even if it means venting, or if you need a sparring partner albeit with nothing sharp and pointy."

He gently caressed and scratched Erins' back slowly. Even though he was no telepath or empath the news was obviously bothering her, and by his estimation she needed re-assurance and a distraction.
"As far as I know I am in one piece, but if you want I'd be happy to let you check me out, just to be certain, after all."

Kaj chuckled at his own bad joke despite himself. He had intentionally delivered that phrase like a cheesy late 20th century B-movie actor.
"Other than falling I've learned my department is being shaken up. Christian's going to the academy, wants to be an officer, Kurts' been re-assigned to my old stomping grounds at Utopia Planetia, and Melinda, well she put in for a transfer the second she learned that I was coming in as the Chief Flight Control Officer, her assumption that the post would be hers was wrong."

Erin looked up at Kaj, resting her hand just above his knee. ''So without sounding too much like a shrink- how do you feel about that? '' She asked with a small grin, trying to not sound like she was in the office. Most of the time with Kaj she didn't have to worry about that, it was one of the things that she liked about him.
''Who's your new crew? Or are you getting any?''

"I dunno, I'll miss Chris and Kurt for sure, but I won't stand in the way of Chris's dreams and they could definitely use somebody with Kurt's talents at Planetita, but Melinda, she's been on her way out since the last mission, I mean she put her transfer request in the second she got wind that I was coming in as CFCO instead of her being promoted."
Kaj took Erins hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, smiling a bit more as he looked into her eyes.
"It's a mixed bag you could say, but at least I'm getting new crewmembers. Don't know any of them personally but I've checked the records, they're all solid as far as I'm concerned, plus I get to keep Gia whom I've recommended for a helmsman's position once she clears all the required tests.

Thanks for asking by the way, and once she comes on board ill loan you Lusa from time to time, she makes a great morale officer, that is if you like dogs."

Erin nodded eagerly. ''I love dogs. I didnt know you could have them aboard starships.''

She shifted on the seat til she was half-facing Kaj and paused.
''I actually came over cause I was curious... the other day in the holodeck I noticed something.. a burn mark on your back.''
She held up her hands. ''i don't mind if you don't want to tell me- but it was odd. I couldn't help wondering why you did have it removed surgically.''

Kaj chuffed a little before answering.
"Ah, you noticed. Well, it's a little souvenir I picked up from the USS Benfold during the Dominion War. I was a new helmsman with fire in his veins to go fly circles around Dominion ships, and they stuck me on a hospital ship with a stuffy blowhard for a CO.
In those days nobody had any idea of just how mobile and ruthless the Dominion was, and it was a surprise when we got jumped by a pair of Jem'hadar attack ships near an asteroid field..."

His voice trailed of for a moment, keeping things calm and collected as unwanted painful memories came to the surface, though memories that were just as important as the good ones in forming who he was at that moment.

"...sorry, just keeping everything straight. They pounded the crap out of us, we took casualties, patients died. I saw a gap in the debris that I knew I could fit the crippled Benfold through and give us room to escape, but the Captain insisted that we try to get the warp drive back online and maneuver in open space.

Didn't take the Hadar long to come in for the killing blow, which offed the captain. The XO gave the order to abandon the ship, and in the process a panel blew out and gave me that burn."

He took a breath before going on. It was going to sound melodramatic but he kept that scar for a reason, and if Erin was going to invest any emotional effort into him she deserved that sort of disclosure.

"People died that day, people that were colleagues and friends, and people that I might have been able to keep alive if I had blown off that stuffy bastard and gone with my own instincts. That scar is my penance to them, a reminder of what happens when I don't trust myself first when it comes to my job. It doesn't hurt if you're wondering, at least not physically anyway.''

Erin was quiet for a few moments. As a counceller, she was trained in how to deal with theese kind of stories. But as a person, she always found it difficult to respond- mainly because no words could ever heal someones experiences, so she wanted to say the right ones. Especially to Kaj. He deserved that much from her.
''I'm not going to say sorry for asking.'' She said slowly. ''Because I think that if you didn't want me to know you would have said as much. So thank you for telling me.''

The Kazon smiled. ''Believe me, I know the prescence of penance scars.''
She paused for a second, brow furrowing.
''So when I was talking to you in the lounge, months ago, when you were depressed and drunk- you mentioned an early mistake where you didn't follow you gut. I'm guessing that was it.''

Kaj nodded solemnly.
"Yeah, that was it. I try to just make it a little voice in the back of my head, but sometimes that sort of thing can get pretty loud, that and you know how hard I can be on myself when it comes to flying."

Then Kaj's own smile returned, along with a firm reassuring squeeze of Erins hand before he launched into his usual Kaj-ness.
"What, no mention of the tattoo while you were looking? I figured that would be stranger than the scar to you, but then again the more I learn about you the more you tend to surprise me, which is an excellent thing by the way."

Erin squeezed his hand back with a grin. It was amazing to her how he could go from serious to.. well, typically Kaj in under 10 seconds.
''Oh I noticed the tattoo. Kazon's had them as well, only we used them as temporary marks, not for decoration- Alpha Centaurii crest, right?'' She asked, stretching her memory that far.
''Odd colours though, any significance?''

Kaj nodded
"Yup, not the standard tricolor, no those colors come from the flag of Finland. My ancestors came from there of course, in fact I have some cousins that still live all over that place. Lovely country, maybe when we both get some decent leave time you could come and see it, the lapland forests, the snow-covered mountains, and of course Helsinki still has its old-world charm."

Kaj paused for a moment, there was more to the story, and he started to feel that he had dumped a bit of emotional baggage on Erins lap. That thought went out the door when he remembered who he was talking with and what he felt for her.
"It's also similar to a tattoo that my father had, only his was the full alpha centauri crest right over his heart. He um, he died over Betazed when the Dominion attacked.

I guess the point is I always carry a bit of my family and home with me wherever I go, cheesy as it sounds."

Erin paused for a second, considering, before making a snap descision.
''You obviously prize going with your gut instinct.'' The Kazon commented, sitting up and forcing herself to meet his eyes. ''Well, this is mine.''
She leaned foreward suddenly, planting her lips on his for a few seconds before sitting back.
''I'm going to get honest with you Kaj- im not the easiest person to get along with sometimes and oddly enough for a counceller, i find it hard to let people in.''
''But I like you, and I like what happened the other day. And if its all right with you- i'd like it to happen again sometime.''
She wasn't just referring to the fun romp in the holographic jungle; but the general closeness and the slow intimate chatting. But she didn't specify- instead she just smiled sheepishly and shrugged.
''I don't know if that needed to be said or not, but you know me, better say it before I overthink it.''

Kaj smiled then leaned in and gave Erin a kiss in return, only in his case his arms circled her waist and midsection and he simply pulled her close to him when he straightened back up, reveling in the physical sensation of being close to her again and the almost spiritual high of being in her presence again.
"You know, I'm glad you said it, I wasn't going to say anything and just enjoy spending time with you again, but now at least I know where both of us stand. For my part you know how I feel about you, or at least I think I got it out in the holodeck, but if not I'll say it again; I can't get enough of you in every way, and I'll work with you on any perceived character faults of either of ours because I do care that much."

He gave Erin another small kiss on the cheek and gently held her close, caressing her with little movements of his fingers before continuing.
"We should do something together soon, but for the time being it's going to be hard, for starters we both have all the insanity that comes with a shakedown cruise, plus I have umpteen million hours of re-training new staff and getting things straight with the Wing Commander, but I agree we should do something of that magnitude again. In the meantime, I think we ought to keep having breakfast lunch or dinner together whenever we can, or spending time together for any or no reason other than we can.

Then again that's just me, if you have any ideas of your own I'm more than willing to listen."

Erin nodded. ''No, that sounds great.'' She agreed, biting a lip and frowning a little as she tried to conjure a few other ideas.
Anything to spend some time with him.
The counceller had a habit of pulling faces as she concentrated, which made having a private office a good thing.

''And yes, you were clear on the holodeck. But thanks for re-iterating.'' She smiled into his eyes, resting back against his shoulder.
''It's.. good to know. I just wanted to do that because I was'nt sure if I had been.''
She didnt want to think to much about what was happening, because it felt so good that some childish fear remained that it was going to shatter
like an illusion and she'd wake up, back in her quarters, totally alone.

''I'll think up of other ideas for stuff we can do- the holodeck is full of choices anyways. Never a failure for adventure there.''
She grinned brightly before a thought struck her and her brow furrowed.
''In two days, theres the burial for a good freind of mine back home so I cant make it- but every other day from now til next year
I should be free for breakfast. So.. just give me a call or whatever, yeah?'' She shrugged, the grin returned.

Kaj tried to simply smile, he ended up snickering a little.
"I'm sorry, when you make those cute faces I can't help it, they're irresistible..."

His voice trailed off as he looked up for a moment then snapped his fingers.
"Crap, I KNEW there was something else, hang on a moment... dammit, now I have to re-locate my riding gear. Um, hang on for a minute..."

He got up and started stumbling over his belongings, then after looking around tenatively settled on a spot and started moving a few boxes.
"You know, I try and BS people by saying I'm like a theoretical particle physicist when it comes to my mess, but truthfully I can sometimes loose stuff for a month at some points in the clutter, but this time at least i know what I'm looking for. Lemme know if you spot a long black bag with lots of pockets and silver hardware, oh and with a white stylized skull helmet on it, you won't believe what I found while I was on Osalri"

Erin shrugged, hunkered down among the domestic rubble and started trying to find the aforementioned bag.
''Why the sudden need for riding gear, did you spot a horse in all the rubbish?'' She asked in exasperated mirth, precariously balancing over a pile of junk and trying to reach a bag on the other side of it.
''Would this be it?'' She asked a few minutes later, holding up the bag.

Kaj was hunkered over a pile of random items ranging from a baseball bat to his pair of replica 1930s pilots glove, so acording to the universal laws of hilarity he didn't stand up but simply looked back across his side, appearing to peer from around his posterior.
"I knew there was a reason I liked having you around, good find. And no, I didn't spot the horse, although if you see something four legged and furry feel free to pet it and scratch its ears, that means Lusa got out of quarantine somehow."

Kaj straightened up then ambled over to Erin as best he could without tripping. Gently taking the bag he rolled it over and opened a specific compartment, and from it he produced a roughly spoon-shaped and palm-sized smooth reflective black rock, looking rather like a smooth piece of obsidian.
He looked at Erin for a moment before turning it over in the light, and as it moved ripples of various color washed over the surface of the stone, colliding and mixing before separating.

"Found this wedged in between the frame and a mounting bracket after the race was over. I was about to chuck it when it caught the light and, well look for yourself."

He simply turned it over and gently pressed it into Erin's palm.
"I remembered it sort of looked like one of the rocks on your holodeck program. It's probably not the same thing but it looked a lot like some of those river rocks at the bottom of that waterfall. Just thought you'd like it."

Erin looked at the wash of colours flickering across the smooth surface and surprised, she felt a lump in her throat.
''Thank you.'' She whispered, throwing her arms around Kaj and hugging him tightly, the stone clasped in one hand.
The stone itself was beautiful- no arguing that, but it was the gesture that meant more.
Forcing her emotions back under control, she sat back and grinned at him.
''Its beautiful. And it means a lot.''
She smiled, tearing her eyes away from the shimmering lights and kissed him.

Kaj smiled and was about to say something but Erin's lips cut any sentence off, so he simply kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off of the floor as well. Any idle doubt he may have had about giving her that simple stone was washed away in that moment, replaced by a tide of sheer bliss in knowing that he had genuinely made Erin happy with that gesture.

''We used to go swimming in the real version of that river.'' She said a few minutes later, when they broke apart for air.
''One of my freinds loved collecting those rocks and lining them up on the sand, making them glitter against the sun.''
She moved the rock in her hands, studying the reflective glimmer. ''Its nice to have some nostalgia. As a matter of fact, its actually her brother that we're burying this week. Its a small universe ''
She kissed him on the cheek. ''Thank you, Kaj.''

Kaj kissed Erins' nose in return, grinning at the corners of his mouth and alternately looking at the stone with her and into her eyes.
"You're always welcome Erin. You know, if you want I'd be willing to go with you to that funeral. I know I would stick out like a targ on betazed but it wouldn't be the first time for me. Besides, part of being involved with someone means you're willing to share the bad times along with the good ones, at least that's how I learned it anyway."

''Really?'' Erin asked uncertainly. ''I didnt think I could go, but my scheduled cleared up over the last few days. If you wouldnt mind, I'd like you there. I was never good at funeral's, and Ronah's wont be any exception. Thank you again.''
She found his hand and gave it a squeeze.
''I will warn you though- Kazon burials are a little different than typical burials. Just be expected for the more primative.''

Kaj smiled and hugged Erin, holding her close.
"If you want me to go with you, I'll go, in fact any time you need any moral or emotional support all you have to do is ask Erin.
Don't worry about the funeral rituals either, I've been on a Klingon sto-vo-kor quest before so I know all about tribal burial rituals."

Something in the back of Erins mind told her right then that she had not been wrong to trust him. Something she had always known.
''The same goes for you.'' She said in a choked voice, hugging him back.
''A shuttle leaves at 11am the day after tomorrow, piloted by another friend heading back home who'll pick us up.''
She paused and kissed him on the cheek. ''If I can ever repay you for this me know.''

Kaj kissed Erin softly on the lips and held her close.
"I'll be there, and you'll never have to repay me for this, I'm doing it because I care for you, no debt needed."

He pulled back for a moment but held her waist gently, but the mischievous look was there.
"But bear with me if I start grousing on the way there, you know how navigators get when they're not in control of a small ship like a shuttle."

Erin laughed. ''I was expecting to hear a few inappropriate jokes from you there, to be honest.'' SHe admitted. ''And dont worry, I'm sure I can handle some minor grumbling.'' The Kazon added dryly as her commbadge beeped.
''Thats a reminder that i've an appointment now, so I'll see you later.''
She walked out, playfully tapping him on the ass as she went with a mischevious grin, picking her way over piles of stuff again.
She paused at the door and smiled. ''I wasn't going to at first but I'm glad I called down. The next few weeks just got more interesting, didnt they?''

Kaj managed to land a little light kiss on her neck as she went by him, then hands on hips he gave in and adopted the sheepish smile that was usually plastered on his face when he was with Erin.
"Next few weeks? Hell it's been interesting since that flight a few months ago, and its only gotten more crazy in all the right ways since then.

Now go on, I'll see you later. Heck you might want to drop by tonight if you can, I might have everything in some order, after I find my damn snowboard... aw crap now I remember, it's in Marine country with Trent. Poor guy probably has a storage locker full of snowboard thanks to me."

Erin chortled, shaking her head in mock-dismay. ''Pity you didnt remember that a few hours ago.'' She grinned, gesturing to the mess on the floor.
''Okay, I'll drop in later if I can.'' She agreed mischievously. ''Though I suspect its just a ploy to get help with cleaning up this mess.'' She disappeared out of sight, hurrying down the corridor, clutching the black rock in one hand and smiling widely.
Life, at that moment, was.. fantastic.

She couldnt think of a better way just so have spent a half an hour than in Kaj's company. It sounded ridiculous and it say it aloud would sound insane, but just being around him felt good.
And she couldnt describe how it felt when he said he cared about her. It was mad and felt so weird and...new, but nevertheless, she wanted to see what transpired from the madness.

Kaj just stood in place and gazed at the door which was previously occupied by Erin moments before. As insane as it might have sounded he felt the unique sensation of drowning in the essence of Erin, and it was a sensation that he savored to the point of wanting to somehow bottle a bit of it if such a thing was tangible in the first place.

It was all new to Kaj, both exciting and a little frightening in a way, but that all conspired to make the experience that much more intoxicating and his desire to spend time with and grow with Erin balloon that much further.

If life could get any better for him, Kaj couldn't think of any way.

However he did have to go rescue his snowboard from the clutches of the Marines before they took to dragging it around a large bay behind an Argo, so he simply shook his head and internally basked in the glow of that sensation as he tapped his commbadge.
"Kaj to Trent, I think you have something of mine..."

-OFF-

Lieutenant Kaj "Natch" Mikkola
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Calypso (NCC-71350)

Leiutenant (JG) Erin Tal
Cheif Councellor
USS Calypso (NCC-71350)

 

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