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Posted on Wed Jun 2nd, 2010 @ 3:40am by Lieutenant Kaj Mikkola & Lieutenant JG Erin Tal

2,338 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Transitions
Location: Counselor's office
Timeline: Prior to Blues Night

ON

Curtis Straub and Christian Vital paused for a moment outside of the Counselors office. They were reasonably sure that Kaj was not the typical supervisory officer and wouldn't call what they were about to do a subversion or undermining of his authority. However by nature pilots and helmsmen were distrustfull of both doctors and psychologists since both proffessions could order a "wash out" and bar them from their jobs and passions.

Still, in this case outside intervention was necessary, and with an unspoken agreement between the two Vital punched the chime to announce their presence outside Erins' hatch.

Erin was looking through some crew files when the arrival of the two officers was announced by a shrill squawk.
"Come in!" She sing-songed, closing down the files and looking interestedly at the door.

Christan was the first to enter, arm still in a sling and limping slightly but looking better than he had on the surface of the planet. Slightly nervously he stood in front of Erins desk at the best attention that he could muster. Kurt meanwhile simply folded his arms and leaned against the bulkhead next to the hatch to watch the proceedings.

Still standing at the best attention he could given his injuries, Christan spoke.
"Petty Officer First Class Christian Vital ma'am, accompanied by Warrant Officer Kurtis Straub. With your permission we would like to request that you speak with our supervisory officer."

Erin waved them in and nodded towards seats. "At ease, theres no military decorum in here." She smiled as them in her usual councellers way.
''You supervisory officer? Okay, and he would be...'' She checked the files and her tone changed with recognition at the name. ''..Kaj Mikkola.''
"Okay, I appreciate an officers concern about a crewmate as much as the next person, but I'm going to need to know why you think he's in need of councelling and of any behaviour that warranted those thoughts." She leaned back, taking a sip of coffee, alot more buisnesslike.

Christian cleared his throat a little nervously before starting, wincing a bit as his sore back let its presence be known.
"Well ma'am, you have to understand that Lieutenant Mikkola is the very definition of a pilot. The guy's track record speaks for itself, by all accounts he could make a comet do spins and high-inversion turns if they could figure out how to control one. Plus, despite what Ensign Catto may think he is the best man for leading Flight Control. He may have crashed on Tiberius VI, but it could have turned out a lot worse.

The thing is though..."

Christian shifted nervously in his seat a little. Clearly the next part was making him uncomfortable, so like a good senior Warrant Officer Kurt spoke up, albeit not moving from his leaning position.
"He's a pilot, which means he's also got a lot of pride and brass behind those skills. Normally that makes sense, but Kaj also helped hold a Miranda together through the Dominion War, and you know how many older ships were lost in that fight.

The whole point is that he's questioning the edge that makes him that good of a pilot and leader, questioning it and playing it over and over in his brain, theoretically anyway.

Is that a clear enough picture?"

Erin listened intently,not moving or making a sound until the man had finished.
"Crystal clear." She said calmly, sitting back.
"So you want me to talk to him about it. Understandable.'' She looked up at the men with a slightly raised eyebrow as she stood, ready to tap her COMM-badge.
''If you wish to keep it quiet, I dont have to tell him who intervened on his part." She had the ghost of a smile on her lips. ''Doctor-pateint confidentiality and all that.''

Kurt shook his head when Erins' hand went to the commbadge.
"Don't bother ma'am, either he's not wearing his badge or not answering it. Believe me, we tried before tracking him down."

Christian had turned slighty to look at Kurt while he spoke so he had to shift back to speak with Erin, banging his arm in the process and wincing slightly.
"Ergh, i'll be glad when I can take the internal cast off and have the wing fixed. Don't worry about the whole confidentiality thing, it won't take him long to figure out who sent you anyway. We're off duty, Evie is on duty as Air Boss otherwise she would be here, and Catto is busy helming the ship but given her general attitude towards Kaj she'd be here trying to get him washed out instead of trying to help.

Last time we saw him he was in the forward lounge, um, well you know...."

Erin nodded, a small frown creasing her forehead. She didnt know much of Kaj, but a small bit of her was worried. Drinking and personal crises never worked well together.
''I'll go find him now, thank you very much for coming to me." She told them both with her usual sincere councellers smile before heading for the door, buisnesslike again.
''Computer, locate Kaj Mikkola.''

As the computer reaffirmed what the men had already said, Erin gave the men one last wave and headed for the forward lounge, mulling over what she was going to say.
On arrival she looked around and spied him instantly.
''Typical.'' She mock-sighed, sitting down beside him. ''There's only two reasons why men head to the lounge and its either for the women or to drown their sorrows.''
She looked at him. ''Rough day, huh?''

Kaj looked at Erin, bleary-eyed from a lack of rest and inebriation. However he wasn't slurring, at least not yet, although whether that was due to tolerance or a focused train of thought was anybodies guess.
"You could say that, been rough for a lot of people." Kaj said as he raised his eyebrows and rocked his head slightly side to side while still staring at the back of the bar.
"Then again I'm sure lots of people have had rough days after dropping down to that chunk of rock and sand."

Erin looked at him for a second before getting up and walking out of the room without saying a word. Presently she returned holding two cups of black coffee and placing one in front of him.
''Get this into you." She ordered, sitting back down and looking at Kaj patiently.
"Alcohol is'nt going to make you feel any better. Quite the opposite in fact. But I think you know that."
She rested her elbows on the bar, leaning her chin on her hands as she studied him.
"Now talk to me. You're not going to feel any better by keeping whatever's wrong all bottled up. I wont push it if you dont want to talk, but the offers there.''
She raised the mug of coffee with a ghost of her old grin. ''And who knows, I might be able to help."

The scowl remained on Kaj's face as he completely ignored the coffee, both of which were by all accounts very un Kaj like.
"Sure, in what capacity would that be? No offense but you weren't down there, and besides if you screw up somebody might get thrown in the loony bin. I screwed up and could have killed Chris and everybody else aboard.

Here's the stupid part, I had a gut feeling that we shouldn't have hung around, and ignored it. The last time I ignored my own instincts 61 people died.
No excuse for that, I know better."

Erin waited till he'd finished, letting him rant. ''None taken.'' She said firmly taking a sip of coffee.
''But Kaj, I may not have been there, but I spent the majority of my life in a situation where one screw-up could get everyone killed. I have no idea how your feeling, but I CAN relate to the situation. So I understand quite a lot more than you think I do.''
She tried to not let it get personal, but it distrubed her to see the man who seemed to carefree in the holodeck, looking so haggard now.

Her eyes widened a bit at his last comment, but other than that she showed no surprise.
''And you think sitting in the lounge drinking til you cant see is the proper way to learn for your mistakes?'' She asked gently.

Kaj opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Many smart-aleck remarks passed through his head, as well as a few rants and litanies, but all of a sudden it all seemed so childlike, including his current attitude.
Kaj rubbed his face a little before finally going for the coffee offered to him by Erin.
"I, um, I'm sorry you had to see me like this. Guess I come down a bit hard on myself from time to time."

Erin shook her head and waved off the apology. ''Nonsense, we all have bad days.'' She said briskly, laying a hand on his shoulder breifly.
''You're in a position of responsibility, its only natural that you're hard on yourself.''
She sat back and looked at him. ''So what happened on the mission?''

Kaj took a sip then shrugged and shook his head. Evidently he was still trying to work some of that out himself.
"Best as anybody can figure out the injectors got clogged with the sand planetside. That affected the maneuvering thrusters, threw off our stability, and we went down. Put everybody at risk, could have been a lot worse though. And yet I still had the notion that something was wrong, and that we shouldn't have stuck around. But, I ignored it because I wanted to impress the skipper and the marines.

Go figure huh?

Erin listened, drinking her coffee. She had had a feeling that her normal councilors act wouldn't work on this one.
''There's no point pointing out the faults in that, because I imagine you've already went over them a few dozen time with the aid of our little friend here.'' She stated wryly, tapping the empty glass of alcohol on the bar.
''Most importantly, did anyone lose their life on the mission?''

Kaj shook his head and pursed his lips together. Before speaking he looked at the mug of coffee he was given as he turned it with his fingertips before taking one last sip.
"No, nobody was hurt. Christian came the closest, but, um... it's hard to explain, I just don't like making that kind of mistake when I know that I know better.

I know I know, it makes no sense, bordering on a deity complex and all that, it just bugs me that I made that error."

Erin looked at the pilot and decided a change of tack might help. Pilots often responded better to a sharper angle.
''You'll live.'' She said briskly. ''And very importantly, so did everyone else.''
''To be perfectly blunt Kaj, I'd have signed you into a mental institute if you WERN'T racked with guilt right now. This just proves that you have enough of a conscience and a brain to know when you made a mistake and the responsibility to learn from it.''

''Now deity complex or not, you need to just move on. I doubt anyone but yourself is holding that against you.''
She downed her coffee. ''You wouldnt have earned the name 'Natch' if you were not capable of hacking the job, right?''

Kaj snorted and chuckled a little.
"Actually the nickname is kind of a joke, an instructor and flight school said that I prefer a natural way of flying rather than look at any single gauge...well ok, that's half true, but only half."

Kaj sighed then held his hands up in mock defeat while shaking his head.
"Fine, I get it, self pity party is over."

He looked at Erin and it was obvious there was something that was on the tip of his tongue, however it never made it past the stage of his mouth opening and shutting a few times, then a wave-off to imply that it was no big deal.

Erin looked at the pilot curiously.
''What.'' She demanded in interest. Patience was never really part of her personal life.
''Go on, you were going to say something, may as well out with it now.'' She coaxed with a grin.

Kaj didn't protest, although at the moment he wasn't sure whether it was the disarming grin or the alcohol that was more disarming. Stroking his chin and emerging stubble, he gave in.
"Well, I'm probably off the mark here, but, um, I kinda get the impression that this is more than just a professional evaluation. Don't get me wrong, I know somebody in my department probably put you up to it, and I'm grateful and all that, but, well you know..."

Erin stared into her coffee mug.
''Yeah, two of the pilots came to me about you.'' She said rather evasivly with a small smile.
''Call it worry, I dont like seeing.... a good pilot in this situation.'' She eventually settled for after a pause.

Kaj just nodded and left it at that. He was feeling better already, and though there might have been a lot of things unsaid at that moment it was not the time to say or explore them. At the time he was just happy to have someone actually listen as a person rather than a being.

Erin sat for a few seconds in silence before standing and patting him on the shoulder.
''Go get some rest.'' She said finally.
''And If your not being a smartass in a few days, come see me.''
With a little smile, she left the lounge

OFF
Ensign Erin Tal
Cheif Counceller
USS Orion/USS Calypso

Lieutenant JG Kaj Mikkola
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Orion/USS Calypso

 

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