Logic of Emotions

Posted on Fri Sep 15th, 2017 @ 9:58am by Lieutenant T'Pral & Lieutenant Arnon Barak MD, PsyD

1,861 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Pulling Together
Location: Calypso Sickbay
Timeline: Current

ON:

Arnon walked into Sick Bay and found T'Pral. She seemed to be resting or maybe meditating. Not wanting to disturb her, Arnon picked up the Vulcan's chart and flipped through it. Why he was currently practicing as both a psychiatrist and psychologist, he had previously practiced as an emergency physician and, in a pinch, a surgeon...as well as a family physician, but that was beside the point. Taking in T'Pral's appearance and comparing it to the notes in her chart, Arnon saw that while the damage to her face was extensive, it could be repaired with a protoplaser and dermal regenerator. He was certified to do the procedure himself, but it was best left to Doctor Alves for the moment. However, while the damage to T'Pral's face could be repaired, her face could not be made to look exactly as it had before. Most of T'Pral's non-Vulcan friends and colleagues wouldn't really notice the difference, but someone like T'Pral's mate would, as would the lieutenant herself. There would be psychological and, despite her being Vulcan, emotional consequences to these subtle changes in T'Pral's appearance. Arnon knew better than to fall into the trap of trying to get a Vulcan to talk about their feelings. Still, he needed to convey to T'Pral that she could discuss her thoughts and even feelings with him if she felt she needed to.

T'Pral remained recumbent for a few minutes longer, finishing her meditations. The newcomer to the room was mercifully silent. She could tell it was not S'Tras as, despite them not spending the majority of the last few years together, she still knew his presence well. She finished her meditation and carefully lifted herself to a more upright position. Her eyes opened and trained on Arnon. "Lieutenant," she intoned simply in greeting.

"Live long and prosper, Lieutenant T'Pral," Arnon said. "How is your recovery going? Are you in much pain?"

"Peace, and long life," she returned almost automatically. She lifted a hand to render the Salute, but failed to adequately part her fingers. It appeared more as a human-like greeting. "My recovery is... progressing." She dropped her hand to the biobed to gingerly grasp her other. "My healing factor should allow me to leave soon."

"You've sustained some pretty serious injuries," Arnon said. "Including some that present serious cosmetic issues to be solved. I'm sure you are aware that there will be differences between your former appearance and your new appearance after the reconstruction work is done. I'd like to meet with you as that work progresses, just to keep an eye on how you are coping with the process and its results. You and I both know that though you keep them under tight control, Vulcans do experience emotions, quite powerful emotions. I know this because, though we deal with our powerful emotions differently than Vulcans do, we definitely have them. The Romulans spun off of you, the Debrune spun off of the Romulans, and we spun off from the Debrune. All of this was before those societies actually developed, so for all intents and purposes, Vulcanoid Rigelians are direct descendants of pre-Surak Vulcans. So I know you experience emotion and I'm here if you want to talk, whether about your thoughts on the situation, or your feelings. I can work with either."

"It is illogical to concern oneself over what cannot be changed," she commented. "My appearance will be returned to a satisfactory state in time. Any... discrepancies will be unimportant." She honestly did not know how much the cosmetic improvements would return her to her previous appearance, but she did not feel it was something to concern herself with at the present time. Her meditations served to shelve that concern away. "However," she added, "I will meet with you to satisfy operational concerns and those of the Commodore."

"Emotions have a logic all their own, Lieutenant," Arnon said. "Has he who is your husband been to visit you?"

T'Pral's brow twitched, as if she tried to raise it. "If emotions were logical, we would not have the need to suppress them with logic. Humans let emotion drive them to highly illogical pursuits." She took a breath, Arnon did not stop by to debate logic and emotion. She shifted gears after a measured pause. "S'Tras was here when I regained consciousness. He has left to attend to his duties."

"We'll discuss emotional logic another time, perhaps, Lieutenant," Arnon said. "I think you'll find the subject interesting. For now though, was you husband supportive?"

"S'Tras was not emotionally supportive, it is not our way. However he did express his concern for my condition and a logical recovery strategy." She considered his offer of debate on logic and emotion, and decided that it could be interesting, once she recovered.

"Good," Arnon said. "His support will be important to your recovery. How long have you two known each other?"

"Are you not familiar with Vulcan sociology? We, as with most Vulcans, met at our betrothal on stardate 43453.2 when we were seven years of age." A flat span of time was not very useful information without context so she expanded a little. "We know each other well, even if we serve on separate starships."

"Some Vulcan parents allow their children to choose their own mates and beyond that, he could have been your second husband, Lieutenant," Arnon said. "No matter. No harm, no foul, as the Humans say. Alright, so, we know that Vulcans can and do experience PTSD. It's often difficult to diagnose in a Vulcan, so I'm going to need your help. I'm going to ask you some questions today, and I'm going to need you to answer those questions honestly. Let's start. Have you been experiencing any difficultly concentrating? I mean beyond that caused by pain and medication effects."

She simply nodded to his explanation. The practice, while rare, did exist. When Arnon started on the PTSD diagnosis, she sighed and leaned back a bit. While it was logical for him to do so, and she would not complain, it was still... tedious. "I have not had opportunity to tax my mind yet," she replied, "It would be logical to ask when I return to duty."

"People who suffer from PTSD find it difficult to focus even when they are not taxing their minds," Arnon replied. "Was a meditative state noticeably more difficult to reach? Have you been having problems following conversations or focusing on them?"

"Meditations have taken longer than typical to reach, however it is difficult to discern if it is due to physical or mental injury. I will inform you if it continues." She shifted a little before approaching the next query. "What conversations I have had have been adequately followed."

"What about hyper-vigilance?" Arnon said. "And I realize that the incident just happened, but have you been experiencing any flashbacks? I remind you that anything and everything you say to me is confidential, except if you present a danger to yourself and others, in which case I will still do everything I can to protect your privacy."

"All I remember is... nothing. There is not anything to flash back to." She gazed at her hands as they clasped and unclasped, as if she wished she remembered something. "Vulcans are not susceptible to paranoia. The Calypso is safe."

"Okay," Arnon said. "I want you to report to me if you start remembering more about the event, as these memories could change the status of your other symptoms. You were a little irritable earlier, but I'm not really worried about that...yet. If it keeps up then we'll re-evaluate. Do you get a headache when you try and remember the incident?"

She would have raised an eyebrow at his comment if she was able to. She chose to reply via stoic expression. "I will inform you of any changes. It is logical." she considered his other query and closed her eyes to try to access the memories. "At the moment it does not cause me pain beyond what I am already experiencing."

"Okay," Arnon said. "We'll go through this again after some time has passed and I may ask you some other clinical questions as well at that time. For the moment, you seem to be doing alright. Let's let some time pass and see how you're doing later. Is there anything you want, or believe you need to tell me at this time?"

She started to shake her head in the negative, but finished with a thoughtful expression. "Despite the fact I cannot remember the event, it does take up a majority of my thoughts at this time. I wish to know how, and why, and I wish to be involved in any investigations."

"Not being able to remember the attack must be very frustrating," Arnon said. "But you have to be careful about obsessing over it. Are you thinking that there is some detail you are missing? Something you might have seen before you were knocked unconscious? Something that you didn't think was important at the time but might be now? I can help you with that if you'd like. If you're feeling up to it, we could do a cognitive interview, take you back to before the attack. Maybe you noticed something that, post-attack, would seem out of place."

"At this time I merely have questions I require answers to." She regarded him with a softer expression and added, "Perhaps there is value in approaching the investigation via those methods. I would be agreeable to such a session when I am ready."

"Good," Arnon said. "I think that might be the best way for you to contribute to the investigation and it might, no promises, but it might lend you some clarity about the event. I'll check back with you soon just to see how you're doing and we can discuss the cognitive interview at that time. Is there anything you need before I let you get some rest? Anything I can get for you? Food? Drink? Reading material? Kal Toh set? Something from your quarters?"

She considered the offer and, eventually, nodded. "If it is permitted, meditative candles would be helpful. Additionally, my mind would benefit from the exercise granted by kal-toh." She fidgeted with her hands for a moment before apparently recognizing the illogical action and abruptly setting them aside her body. "Thank you, Lieutenant," she added.

Arnon made a mental note about the fidgeting. He'd made several other observations about her physical and emotional state via his sensory empathy that he would review when he was back in his office.

"I'll have those things brought to you within the hour, Lieutenant," Arnon said. "Until then, try to rest. Relax and let your body and your mind heal. Until later then."

Arnon smiled and then left T'Pral to rest.

T'Pral leaned back and ruminated on the Counselor's visit. She had to admit, his logic was sound. She would think more on his words. For now, meditation and healing. She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing towards that end.

OFF:

Lieutenant Arnon Barak MD, PsyD
Chief Counselor

Lt(jg) Annie Dixon
Assistant Chief Engineer

 

RSS Feed