Trauma Check In (Part 1)

Posted on Sun Sep 10th, 2017 @ 8:21pm by Lieutenant JG Annie Dixon & Lieutenant Arnon Barak MD, PsyD

1,512 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Pulling Together
Location: Counseling Center
Timeline: Current

ON

At the commodore's request, Arnon had set up a session with Lieutenant Junior Grade Annie Dixon, the Assistant Chief Engineer. She would need to take over for Lieutenant T'Pral until the Vulcan engineer recovered. Arnon needed to assess her psychological and emotional ability to handle such responsibilities, and provide support in those areas to help her to do so. She was expected any moment. Arnon replicated some boiling water in a tea pot and set it on a warmer in case she wanted hot tea, and there was a pitcher of ice tea, a blend from his homeworld that had relaxing properties.

Annie paced in front of the Counselor's office, biting her lip. She clutched a PADD to her chest like a safety blanket; it's contents simply a collection of technical papers on warp field dynamics. She stared at the door for a long moment working up her courage to enter. She wasn't a fan of counselors; they had a tendency to shine a rather bright light on her own inadequacies and anxieties. But she had to do it, else a worse reprimand appear in her record.

She swallowed hard and stepped forward, allowing the door to open for her. Her toes stopped just at the threshold. "Doctor?" she squeaked, glancing around the door's edges, hoping he wasn't in and she could escape.

Arnon rose from his chair to greet Annie.

"Ah, Lieutenant Dixon!" he said. "Welcome! Please, come right in and take a seat."

Arnon waved in the direction of two comfortable looking chairs and couch.

"Can I get you something to drink?" he said. "I've got some really nice iced tea from my planet if you'd like. Might help calm your nerves. Or if you'd like hot tea, I've got some hot water and several different kinds of tea. Or if you want coffee or some other kind of drink, I can replicate that for you."

Arnon stopped and realized that Annie hadn't moved from the threshold. He smiled warmly at her.

"Lieutenant Dixon," he said. "This is a safe place. I assure that I don't bite...at least not in counseling sessions. While I do have to assess you, that doesn't mean I'm going to judge you. These sessions are private. The results of my assessments go to the commodore and her executive officer, but unless I absolutely have to, I don't share any specifics, and even then I only share relevant specifics. Please, come in and sit. All that's going to happen here is that I'm going to ask you some questions, listen to your answers, ask you some more questions, and maybe, if I think it's necessary, I'll make an observation or two."

Arnon held out his hand to Annie.

She stared at the hand for an awkward minute as she gripped the PADD a little tighter. Were her hands sweating? She felt the need to wipe them against her uniform, but the PADD wouldn't hold itself.

Deciding she had to get this over with, she meeped and suddenly rushed around Arnon, ignoring his outstretched hand. She fell into one of the chairs, still gripping the PADD tightly. Her eyes focused on the middle distance and a knee bounced rapidly.

Arnon raised an eyebrow for a brief second at how skittish Annie was, but didn't comment at that time. He entered and took a seat across from her.

"Well," he said. "Just let me know if you get thirsty. So, Lieutenant Dixon, you seem to be very nervous. Is something in particular bothering you? Is this related to Lieutenant T'Pral's injury in the attack?"

She shook her head even before he finished speaking. "N- No, I-" she stammered, fidgeting with her PADD. It took her a long moment to assemble a sentence in her mind before articulating it. "I'm... not good with this stuff." A hand left her PADD long enough to turn in the air, encompassing the office and Arnon himself.

Arnon chuckled.

"That's common problem around here," he said. "Answering questions about yourself can be difficult, especially if you're avoiding the answers or even asking yourself the questions. So, what do you think you are afraid of discovering in this room?"

Annie bit her lip and stared at an unremarkable section of wall. She wasn't afraid, she knew exactly what he would find - that she was a useless anxious wreck who shouldn't be in Engineering, much less in charge of it...

She suddenly shook her head to refocus away from such toxic thinking. "It's-" she began, hugging her PADD a little tighter, " I don't do-" She took a breath, "Sorry." The stress she was building up kept enhancing her awkwardness and insecurity.

"I'm a sensory empath," he said. "Basically that means that I can determine not only your internal emotional state, but also your internal physical state. Now, don't worry, I don't go prying without permission, but I can't prevent myself from picking up your surface emotions and some basic physical data. For example, you showed all of the physical and emotional signs of being nearly terrified at the idea of revealing the thoughts you right before you started speaking. Annie, I can tell that you're miserable even without my abilities. With them I can see clearly the emotional storm you're experiencing and attendant physical responses. You're going to make yourself sick."

Arnon got up and walked over behind his desk. He picked up a waste basket then came back around and placed it next to Annie's chair.

"If you do get sick," he said. "Try to aim for this. Now, let's try some simpler questions. Where were you born?"

Annie stared at the waste basket for a long moment. She didn't expect she would be sick, but collapse into a tear-soaked mess was a real possibility. The ordinary question Arnon posed took her a little by surprise. Wasn't that in her file, which he would have read by now? "E- Earth," she managed softly. "Outside New York City."

"And did you spend all of your childhood there?" Arnon asked. "Or did you move around a bit before you graduated from secondary school?"

The questions regarding her history were easier for her to handle. Especially as the information was readily available to anyone perusing her Starfleet personnel file. She found herself relaxing just a little, the PADD was held a little looser against her chest. "I stayed in the same house," she replied, "Mom is a teacher, Dad is a transporter technician."

Arnon could sense that Annie was loosening up a bit, so he continued with his safe line of questioning to see where it led.

"Do you have any siblings?" he asked.

She shook her head, "I do not."

"Only child then," Arnon said. "Did you get along well with your parents growing up? As much as any child does. I'm a parent. I know things get difficult between parents and children sometimes and that's normal. Do you feel like you were raised in a loving and nurturing home?"

She shrugged, "I guess," she said, still looking straight ahead. Her childhood wasn't traumatic or anything, but she didn't remember any overly loving overtures either. They mostly kept to themselves and she was okay with that. They had their arguments, but she also didn't feel the need to cut herself off. "We talk on subspace every month or so," she added.

"Are the conversations positive?" Arnon asked. "Do you feel like they are supportive of your choices? I refer to both your career choices and the choices you've made in your personal life. Some parents support their children no matter what they do. Others parents have plans for their children and become unpleasant when their children don't follow those plans. Others are somewhere in between. Where do your parents fall on this spectrum?"

Annie bit her lip wondering how... personal this was going to get. "They-" she began but paused. After a moment, "They are proud of me joining Starfleet. And that I work on a Galaxy-class starship. But-" another pause and her voice dropped, "Mom always asks when she'll have grandchildren."

"How does it make you feel when she asks you about when she'll have grandchildren?" Arnon said. Arnon wanted grandchildren one day, but he had no desire to put pressure on his children to produce them for him. If Rhiannon and Carlos wanted to have children of their own someday, it would be their choice, not his.

She frowned and hugged her PADD again. "I don't even have a boyfriend," she admitted. Her mind immediately cycled through her various insecurities on the subject, threatening a downward spiral. It took some effort to keep herself from spontaneously tearing up. Ultimately, she did want children someday, but there were a few intervening steps she would have to surmount on her way.

Her voice shook a little as she explained, "Mom was twenty when I was born so I think maybe she sees me as wasting time or something."

TBC

Lieutenant Arnon Barak MD, PsyD
Chief Counselor

Lt(jg) Annie Dixon
Assistant Chief Engineer

 

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