Reestablishing Relations (part 3)

Posted on Mon Sep 10th, 2012 @ 12:25pm by Lieutenant JG Ronnie Wolfe & Lieutenant Commander Damion Wolfe
Edited on on Mon Sep 10th, 2012 @ 12:39pm

1,210 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: The Enemy Within: Lying in Wait
Location: Intel

[CONTINUED]

[OLD]

Damion took his hand away, his smile faded as he looked into her eyes. Did she not trust him? Was he being too obvious? Fooling her would be important in his plan, but what would the backlash be? He leaned back on the couch, keeping his eyes focused on her. "I'm just not completely over what happened. The medication, to keep me stable, had to be increased since all this. Part of me is worried that, eventually, it might not help at all." Damion let out a sigh, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the cushion of the headrest. "If that happens, I might have to leave and I wouldn't want to be away from you. Especially, because of everything we have gone through. You're a part of my heart now, Ronnie. I can't lose you."

[NEW]

"Then why are you avoiding me?" she asked. "Why are you pushing me away?" Why did he not make eye contact with her in the briefing? And why avoid her completely up until then? He hadn't called her or come to see her or anything. And when she'd tried to find him, he was either busy or turned away. So how could she know where the truth lie?

"Whoa Whoa." Damion closed his eyes and put his hand to his forehead. "One question at a time, Ronnie. Please." He slowly opened his eyes and looked back over to her. "I didn't mean to push you away. Like I said, I was scared that you wouldn't look at me the same way after what happened. Not only that, but the medication has been pushed up because, like I said, it doesn't seem to be working like it used to. I was afraid, too much anxiety and emotions would push that part of me that I keep in the back of my head, into coming out again. The last thing I want is for you to see that."

Damion looked at her, he knew he wasn't giving her the whole truth. Just the pieces he needed to tell her to avoid the actual problem. Starfleet Intelligence, did reactivate him, but it was too important for him to set the right tone that he couldn't tell her what was going on. Every needed to believe his act for now. He knew it was important and he hoped she would understand.

It sounded plausible, but wrong at the same time. "I dealt with Johnny, Damion, and didn't turn away. So why, now that we're back, are you afraid I won't be able to handle it if you slip again? You're not likely to be in the same circumstances again. There are plenty of doctors around to help you if you need them." She didn't understand and it didn't make sense to her.

Ronnie ran a hand through her hair. This was getting worse. "Look, you obviously can't decide if you want me or not, so I'll leave you alone. Just let me know when you figure it out." She pulled away from him and stood. Hadn't they worked through all this when they got out of the mines? They'd been together for several days on the Torchwood, but once they got back to the Calypso, he acted like he regretted it.

Damion closed his eyes and put his hands in front of his face. He couldn't stand lying to her, but he had his orders. It couldn't end like this. He knew it would be best for her, but not for him. Damion needed Ronnie to hold onto something. Give him a reason to stay moving, to stay alive. A reason to fight and push. To stay focused.

He stood up quickly, looking ove to her. "You don't get it!" Damion yelled, unexpectedly. His heart was racing, he was trying to keep it cool, but he felt her pull away. Not just from the problem, but from him. "You think Johnny was me at my worst?" He shook his head slowly, keeping his eyes on her. "He was nothing compared to what could happen. I made my choice. I've been trying ot tell you that, but you aren't accepting it. If you need me to spell it out for you I will."

Damion took a moment to collect his thoughts as he looked at her. "I love you. I want to be with you. I am worried about you, Ronnie. I love you so much, I don't want to see anything bad happen to you." He sighed as he felt his heart racing, his nerves suddenly hit him. "Your the one, Ronnie. If I could settle down with anyone in my life, it would be you. This is me, pouring out my heart. Pouring my heart and your walking away, because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me, either. I just know how I feel. Scared of losing you. I can't change what I did, but I can keep from it happening again."

Ronnie turned on him, hurt, confused. "Do you think I care what might happen? Or because of what you've done in your past? You say you're afraid of what you could do if the medicine fails. Afraid of losing me, so you'll push me away now rather than make the most of what we have? What we could have? Do you think so little of me and my love that you'd rather end it now than trust me?"

The pain of his words was almost more than she could deal with. "You say you love me, want to be with me. Yet you're so scared of what happened that you want to keep it from ever happening again by hurting me now so you don't have to risk possibly hurting me in the future. That makes no sense. Why not take what we have now and make the most of it? If something happens later, we'll deal with it then. I'm not going to be afraid to be happy because it might go bad later." She covered her face with her hands and turned away. His words made no sense. He wanted her to believe he loved her at the same time he wanted her to believe he was protecting her by sending her away. Just trying to wrap her brain around the illogic of it made her head hurt almost as much as her heart did."

Damion put his hands on his head again. The jumble of noise inside her head seemed to give him more mental strain. There was so much confusion going on that even he, couldn't make sense of it all. "What's with all the thoughts of you thinking I am sending you away? Your the one the keeps saying you should leave when I am trying to keep you from leaving." He ran his hands through his hair and looked down. "No matter how much I try to convince you to stay, you keep telling yourself that you should leave."

(To be continued...)

Lieutenant Damion Wolfe
Chief Intelligence Officer

Lieutenant JG Ronnie Lancaster
Assistant Chief Science Officer

 

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