Coping

Posted on Thu Oct 27th, 2011 @ 3:12pm by Commodore Samantha York & Colonel Damon Raine

1,081 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: Shades of Gray
Location: CO's Quarters

ON

Damon was back from the planet. She waited for him to come home as she needed to talk to him. It was bad enough when Leo got hurt, but now, with Kyt dead, she needed Damon.

Damon was sore and dirty from the days activity on the planet. He felt like he had more to offer to the rescue workers than just supervising their efforts. instead, he got physically involved by helping them to remove the rubble, much of it by hand. It was hard work, and the lack of success at finding any survivors left him feeling drained and numb.

He walked into their quarters and quickly spotted Samantha in the corner of the room. "Hello, love." He said with a half smile.

She walked into his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm glad you're safe. I don't think..." Her voice trailed off as she buried her face in his shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright." He consoled. It wasn't hard for him to tell that this was taking it's toll on her. He decided that shower could wait as he stood there with Sam in his arms. "Do you want to talk about it?" He offered.

Sam nodded. "First, it was Leo. When he got hurt all I could think about was what if it were you instead? And I was so glad you were safe. Now it's Kyt." She hugged him tighter. "I hate losing people. And for her to do something like this..." She still couldn't wrap her brain around the reasoning behind Kyt's actions. Daniels explanation didn't help any, either.

Damon squeezed her just as tightly. He led her to the couch and sat her down beside him after a moment more. "This is the hard part of command, love. The second guessing and the 'what if's' always come after we lose people. It's tragic, but we can't absorb it all. You can't absorb it all."

She curled up next to him and hugged him again. "A part of me knows you're right. We knew what we were getting into when we signed on for this job. Most survive, but there's always that chance. I guess it's just hitting a little too close to home this time."

Damon couldn't argue the fact. Leo's accident happened only a few weeks after he resigned his commission with the SFMC. The attack could have easily have taken him instead. Both of them had similar habits dirt side and it was likely Damon would have tripped the wire in the same way.

The issue with Kyt was something altogether different. Damon wished he was surprised by the news. Still, if Damon had have insisted on replacing her to the Captain even a few days sooner, perhaps this could have been avoided. It seemed Damon too was suffering from a case of the 'what if's'.

"Knowing still doesn't prepare us for what it actually happens. We still feel blindsided by it when it does. It's important to feel...but not too much."

"I guess I'm a little short when it comes to the not too much," she admitted. "I still have nightmares about it being you and not Leo in that hospital bed."

He pulled her closer. "But I wasn't and Leo is fine now. Some things can be fixed with time."

She kissed the side of his neck and sighed. "You're right. And you're safe. I'll deal with the rest." Just being held by Damon was helping her feel better.

"You don't have to deal with it alone, love. I'm here for whatever you need." He said

She hugged him again. "I'm glad. I don't think I'd do so well if you weren't here. In many ways you're still my rock." A thought struck her. "Do you think Kyt really killed herself or did she escape?"

Damon had many thoughts on it since the attack and although he kept going back and forth on the matter in his head, one thought seemed to come up more often. "Kyt's measures were always extreme but she was never an extremist. I believe her to be the type of person to go down fighting with a rifle in her hands, not the kind who would take a cowards way out to avoid punishment." He looked down to her. "I honestly don't think she is dead, no."

"I hope not. I don't want to find her if she is. Starfleet will send her to a penal colony and I don't think she could take that again." She lay her head on his shoulder. "I really think we chould have fixed this without such drastic measures."

"Maybe. Probably. If enough of its citizens spoke up the SFMC would likely have made this a military matter. We have enough Marines for the job and we would have stayed around to make sure a stable government was put in place. As it is, there is going to be a power vacuum down there. For all we know, Kyt's actions may have just paved the way for their version of Hitler to take over. Starfleet will want to pull out of this region now, before they become the blame for what has happened. We will have 'helped' enough."

Sam groaned softly. He had a point. "I prefer to think that the rebel faction -- the former government -- will be able to take back control. I like happy endings."

"I do too." He kissed her forehead. "There is just as good a chance that things will get better for these people now. If anything it's a cautionary tale for them."

Sam cuddled for several minutes, enjoying the moment and letting Damon's presence ease her distress. "Have I told you lately how wonderful you are?" she said, her voice soft.

Damon simply just smiled back at her. Things might not be great everywhere, but here it certainly was. It was an odd feeling to be so happy doing little else than being in the same room as someone.

An old Earth song began to play in her mind. You are my love and my life. You are my inspiration... She chuckled softly and stood, turning to face Damon. She held out her hand to him and smiled. "Can I interest you in a hot shower?"

Damon took her hand and stood to meet her. "You read my mind, love."

OFF

Captain Samantha York
Commanding Officer
USS Calypso

Commander Damon Raine
Executive Officer
USS Calypso

 

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