Tiberius IV: Confessions, part 2

Posted on Thu Apr 1st, 2010 @ 7:09am by Commodore Samantha York & Colonel Damon Raine

1,510 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: What Lies Beneath?
Location: Tiberius IV
Timeline: Current

ON

[OLD]

Sam kissed him gently, wishing she could stop him from feeling guilty. She'd really been quite lucky all three times. And she was very glad Damon had been there.

[NEW]

The sense of her words wasn't lost on him. She had been on many away missions long before he arrived to the Orion and it was doubtless that some of those missions put her life in jeopardy. He just couldn't resolve in his mind that he was powerless to change the chances of injury, or worse, death.

He looked up at the pod's ceiling and collected his thoughts before speaking again. "Do you believe in luck?" His eyes hadn't left the roof.

"Sometimes. There's always an element of chance in everything we do," she said quietly, not sure she wanted to hear what he was going to say next. 'Why?"

"I do." He shook his head "I didn't before the war, but, time in the Corps taught me otherwise. I have seen too many Marines, better Marines, die inches away from me because of a stray shot from a soldier that probably wasn't even aiming at them." He finally looked down with an expression to match hers. "You're okay this time, but what happens when your luck runs out? Can't you see a pattern in the last few missions?" He really was starting to believe that HE was the reason things were happening to her, HIS bad luck. It was a silly notion that he didn't want to put to words, but he really believed it.

Sam stood back and gave him a stern glare. She didn't see a pattern, but she saw what he was getting at. "No. You have no idea what I've been through on archaeological expeditions. The times I've come close to being seriously injured. Or worse. I have been very lucky these last three trips. Do you have any idea how dangerous it was to even attempt to go over the cliff? It was a risk I had to take. If I didn't, we would have lost two men to the sand and the storm."

She was just beginning to build up steam. "I am not going to give up the chance to be happy just because there's a chance something bad might happen. I would rather have the happy memories to comfort me than years of being miserable because I was afraid of being hurt. Or of hurting someone else." Now that she understood what she'd been sensing, the thoughts and feelings, from Damon. And she didn't like it.

She didn't even try to cover up the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I love you, and I refuse to turn my back on something that could be really great just because there's a chance one of us won't live to retirement. Most people DO live, Damon. We're not at war anymore. And think on this while you're at it. You could decide that I'm better off without you around and I could still die pm an away mission. Would you be at fault then? Or would you realize, too late, what you'd given up?" She couldn't say any more. She didn't want to say any more. Right now, the pain in her heart was far greater than the pain in her ribs.

She grabbed her harness and anti-grav vest and threw them in a recycle bin, not caring about her ribs. Then she wiped away her tears, steeled her expression, and headed for the door.

Damon felt terrible for what was happening. The irony struck him instantly of his attempt to save her from pain was causing the very pain itself. He had convinced himself that this was the best option for her but, now with that decision at hand, he doubted himself completely. His resolve faded, he felt completely empty for an answer.

He watched as she tossed the vest away and began moving towards the door. He simply stared at her as she walked away. He wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth felt numb for words and indeed he wasn't sure what would come out even if he could speak. It felt as if a weight was slowly being dropped on his chest as an internal battle was raging inside, rational thought and his emotions.

She was mere paces away from the door when he finally blurted out the words. "I'm scarred Sam."

His words halted her in her tracks. "Of what?" she asked, not turning around.

"Of this. Of us. I'm terrified of hurting you." Emotions won.

"It's too late for that," she said with a mirthless laugh. "You have to decide if you take the easy way out and hurt me now, or take a chance that you might hurt me later. You can't change the way I feel. The only difference between the two is that with one you guarantee I'll be miserable. With the other, you take a chance on being happy."

"Easy way out?" He said frowning "You think this is easy for me?" He shook his head "Look, I've made peace with what I had assumed was going to be my inevitable fate years ago. I've lived my life in such a way that I keep relationships casual at best so that when it finally happens I won't be missed much. Fear has never been a problem for me because of it all. Now that you're hear I can't help but be afraid. I love you and I'm of firm belief that you are the only thing I need to be happy. Because of that I can't help but think I may be acting selfishly as to what will make YOU happy in the long run."

"You," she whispered, turning around to look at Damon. "You complete me. I never realized a part of me was missing until I met you." She ran a hand through her hair. They seemed to pick the worst places to have serious discussions. Someone could walk in on them at any moment, but she didn't care. She took a few steps towards him and stopped. "I've practically walked on eggshells this mission, not wanting to do anything to worry you -- unless I had to," she added, thinking about the cliff.

He nodded his head. "You were the right person to go, I didn't challenge that. The thing is, Trent went with you, didn't he? Did he get injured too?"

"No, he didn't. But I did go first." She hurried to add, "He does seem to have the most amazing luck..."

~He really does~ He thought begrudgingly to himself. Still, the point stood. It seemed that with Damon around bad things happened to her. "Look, I'm no fool to believe that you will always avoid being put in harm's way, it comes with the uniform and I wouldn't ask you to give up your career anymore than you would ask me to. It's just, if you have to be under the gun, I would want as many cards stacked in your favor as possible; real or imagined."

He felt as if his words weren't coming across clearly; but, at least he had gotten off his chest something that had been bothering him for a long time. The rest was in her hands. He desperately didn't want her to walk out of his life, but he cared enough about her to understand if she left.

Sam sighed, not sure how to get him to understand. Maybe she should stop trying to convince him with words. Instead, she walked up to him, put her hands on his cheeks and kissed him, putting her heart ad soul into the kiss. "I'm not giving up," she whispered after several minutes.

Damon just stared at her for a number of moments after the kiss; the thoughts in his head seemed clouded for the action. A sudden chuckle escaped and he shook his head to clear it. He looked back at her and let out a deep breath, much like a deflating balloon. "Just so you know, I'm never going to stop being a pain in your ass about safety."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she said, still feeling a little defiant. She didn't want him to stop worrying about her, just as she didn't want to stop worrying about him.

"Good." He said with a half smile "because we start with getting you fixed up." He made reference to her injury.

She gave him a haughty look, ready to argue. Then she relaxed. "Okay. Once we get the pilots taken care of."

"Sam," He started in disagreement "I'm sure the pilots have already been taken care of. It's your turn to be fussed over."

She smiled at him, relenting. "Okay." It would be nice to get rid of the pain. Her ribs were really starting to hurt. "Let's go see if the doctor is free."

OFF

Marine Captain Damon Raine
Marine CO
USS Orion

Commander Samantha York
Commanding Officer
USS Orion

 

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