You are not alone. (Part 3)

Posted on Mon Nov 24th, 2014 @ 2:51pm by Commander Alexandra Vance & Sergeant Amarylis Beckinsale

1,423 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Deadly Diplomacy
Location: Holodeck
Timeline: Prior to "And the hammer comes down".

[[OLD]]

Amarylis burst out in laughter surprised by Alexandra's humour. "I...I can't believe you just made a joke."

[[NEW]]

"I wasn't joking." Vance replied smiling with a hint of relief. To her it had appeared Amarylis was coping well with the trauma.

"Alright Miss Literal let me clarify. While I see you and yes I can feel you all I see is an empty shell. Alex when we got back from that planet I realized for the first time in maybe ever you were truly whole. You had charisma, you still had your courage and I think you may have been at your strongest. You think the whole ice queen act is helping you? I saw you tune up at least a dozen assassins with bombs when you were all happy go lucky. It was great, we all bonded, we were all like a family and no one got killed." Amarylis said.

"Samantha nearly did. If I had not been so happy go lucky I could have seen those goons long before it go to the point it did. You do remember we lost several dozen crew members. That's on me Amarylis." Vance replied in a tone showing disappointment in herself. "We should never have been there."

"Alex Samantha is ALWAYS gonna get herself nearly killed. She's a scientist and that's what they do. You just gotta keep watching her back, maybe slap some regs in her face every once in a while and hope they stick. But you can't go around blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. I know you intel types like to be in control but it doesn't always work out that way. If it did, I could say that Intel shoulda seen the Borg coming, or stopped the Dominion War. That's not on them, hell maybe if you guys screwed up we'd be dead. I suppose having Sisko around helped too. You know, speaking of Ben Sisko, I bet you could be like him. I see it in you but you are too hung up on the Cardassians it's stunting your potential."

"Benjamin Sisko was no fan of the Cardassians." Vance pointed out.

"He was when they turned coat." Amarylis shot back.

"A move based solely on opportunity versus loyalty. The Cardassians knew the Dominion was done and they turned face before they were eradicated. Like always they only did what best benefitted them. They have no loyalties only cowardice." Vance remarked.

Amarylis sighed. "Killing them will not change what happened that day. You won't feel any better you know. Take it from someone whose made a career out of it. So what the Cardassians are dead? Then what? Maybe the Romulans looked at Commodore York the wrong way. So now they die. Maybe the Orions take me hostage again. So now they die. Where is the line drawn Alex? When does the killing stop? When does the ice around the queen's heart finally melt? You know just as well as I do the faces become a blur after a while. Just another objective, just another target. Let's not forget the Borg now too."

"I'm sure I'm not the only one wishing the Borg eradicated. Besides I can see them coming." Vance said tapping beside her ocular implant.

"Does it still hurt?" Amarylis asked concernedly. Another subject she usually strayed away from.

"The pain has subsided and my brain has learned to decipher the information the implant collects. If anything I should be thanking the Borg." Vance replied.

"I don't. I prefer to see them used as spare parts." Amarylis grumbled furling her brows.

"Now whose giving the cold shoulder?" Vance smirked.

"There's a difference." Amarylis shot back.

"There is...but I don't want to discuss that right now. Not here." Vance replied.

"Alex? Can I ask you a question?"

"Do I have much of a choice?" Alexandra said.

Amarylis smirked for a short moment before her face turned expressionless once again. "Do you still hear them? The voices?"

Vance took a seat on the shore looking out to the horizon. "Sometimes. Whenever they are close. The doctors could not remove the neurotransmitter. I am sure the same goes for Colonel Raine."

Amarylis took a seat next to Alexandra. "How do you handle all those voices in your head? Doesn't it drive you mad?"

"On the contrary Amarylis. It's actually easier then you think. While there are thousands of voices, they speak as one just as they work as one. It's almost like music it's an experience....well as beautiful as it is I hope you never have to endure it." Vance said as the waves pushed up against the shore kissing her feet. She pressed her toes into the sand, even if it wasn't real it reminded her of the camping trips her family took. She would never openly admit it but she missed those days.

"I can't imagine being all, robotic though. Not being able to think for myself...." Amarylis replied, her voice trailing off.

"When you are a drone you don't think about that, unless of course you are able to visit a place known as unimatrix zero." Vance replied.

"What's that?" Amarylis asked curiously.

"I suppose you could compare it to something like this, a holodeck in your head. While I have not seen it myself, through the knowledge of the collective I learned of it's existence and one of my main directives was to purge it should i come to discover a drone capable of visiting the place. Problem was the drones forgot about it upon their exit from the regeneration cycle making it hard to detect. The unimatrix was of particular concern to the collective as it allowed the individual to return to their former self. Personality, individuality all restored." Vance replied.

"But if they forgot about their experience why fight it?" Amarylis inquired.

"It was considered a disease hence imperfection and not tolerated. Drones found to have visiting unimatrix zero were eliminated." Vance replied.

"Did you ever???" Amarylis asked concernedly regretting the question as it escaped her lips.

Alexandra could tell Amarylis had some inhibitions about the questions. While she in no means condoned senseless murder, the circumstances were unavoidable and Alexandra held no regrets. "I did. We found a drone not soon after I arrived whom had been exposed to the unimatrix. I will spare you any details but sadly the drone was deactivated."

"There was nothing you could have done." Amarylis stated as if trying to reassure Vance as she placed her hand on Alexandra's shoulder.

Alexandra smiled and placed her cheek on Amarylis' hand reciprocating the affection, a rarity for her but Amarylis needed this bond and she needed it now. "Some are not able to handle liberation. Some have actually lost their mental stability after being separated from the collective. The loss of the structure, the order drives them over the edge. I have even heard of individuals returning to the collective simply because they could not handle individuality. Some of these people are taken at a very young age."

"Do they procreate?" Amarylis asked.

"No, the Borg increase their numbers through assimilation only." Alexandra replied. She normally would not have been so open about a subject such as her assimilation into the Borg. For most they would only gather what was in the reports. For Amarylis, the subject took her mind from her current turmoil and in a way it was therapeutic to Vance. Amarylis was not judging her or psychoanalyzing her. The questions were simple curiosity.

"You sabotaged them didn't you?" Amarylis asked looking out to the horizon once again.

"What do you mean?" Alexandra asked raising a brow to Amarylis.

Amarylis looked to Vance and smirked. "C'mon Alex. You are like some crazy tactical genius. You're telling me with the knowledge of hundreds if not thousands you allowed York to beat you so easily, and by a Cardassian illusion?"

Alexandra grimaced. It was not her finest moment. She had been beaten by York but the victory was not hers alone. Had Vance truly succumb to the Borg the diversion would not have succeeded. Vance had resisted them. While she was Borg on the exterior the Borg were unable to get Vance to completely submit. "I didn't give in Amarylis, just like you should not give in. If you want something bad enough, you have to be willing to fight for it. That was a very tough call you made and I'm glad you made it. I'm very proud of you."

[[To be Continued]]

 

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